So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
