Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
