Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
