If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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