i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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