just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
