My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
