In the future we'll all be gay
Don't make out with my wife yet
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
