Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize