Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Houston, we have a squirter
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize