dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize