i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
