omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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