hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
