I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize