I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
