He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
