ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
