I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
