your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
