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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
