that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
