Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
