All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
