Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
