i don't like sucking hair
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
