I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Never joke about your clitoris.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
