i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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