We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just found puke in my bra..
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
