like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
