I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
