my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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