Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
sarcasm needs its own font
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
