dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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