guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
