come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize