He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
