dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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