My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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