I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
