i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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