last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
