Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
