There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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