even my farts smell like vagina
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
