My cat gives me a boner
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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