That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
