I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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