Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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