Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
