hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
