I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
my poor anus
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
