Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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