Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
