let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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