I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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