I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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