Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
