It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
