Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
