"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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