Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
