I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
